Fed up with your letter box being empty? Fed up coming downstairs day after day to find no junk mail on your doormat? Scared that people will think corporate advertising is ignoring you? Me too! That's why Merriol brought out the The Oscar Peterson Junk Mail Simulator and banished Empty Mail Box Blues forever!

 
   
The Oscar Peterson Junk Mail Simulator *
"Named after one of the greatest Jazz Pianists of the 20th Century, this is the best Junk Mail Simulator on the market today."
 
Junk Mail Sim Monthly

Yes! For less than the price of something slightly more expensive, you get all these added features!


15 'pre-approved' invitations to obtain a Platinum credit card from banks you have never heard of and who have spelled your name wrongly


6 offers of loans at 'Our Lowest Rate EVER!' from different banks you have never heard of who spelled your name right - but got your address wrong
(Legal Notice: your home - or someone else's - may be at risk if you fail to keep up the payments)

7 AOL discs


And! As an added bonus!

A small glossy catalogue for expensive matt black gadgets
 and personalized golf balls!

 

 

 

100% Satisfaction

This Graph proves it!

The Oscar Peterson Junk Mail Simulator in action

Durable
Easy to assemble
All-paper construction!
Almost
Waterproof!
(under certain circumstances)

 

Just $7.99 worldwide delivery!

Click and buy through Paypal.

Small Print: For indoor and outdoor use only.

Another fine product from the makers of
See My Girlfriend Cook My Sock!

Merriol.com (guaranteed 100% cholesterol free web pages)

* The use of Oscar Peterson's name no way implies that this tatty product has been endorsed by Oscar Peterson, Art Tatum, Theloneus Monk, any other of the great Jazz pianists, (or even Charlie Kunz for that matter), or their estates.  Similarly the use of the words 'Junk Mail Simulator' is no way intended to give the impression that any such product really exists outside the confines of this web page though, if someone were fool enough to click the 'Buy it Now' link and got stroppy about it, I'm sure we could knock up a simulated 'Junk Mail Simulator' and post it to them.